These Phrases shared by A Dad Which Rescued Us during my time as a First-Time Father

"I think I was merely trying to survive for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the demands of becoming a dad.

Yet the reality rapidly proved to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her chief support in addition to taking care of their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he became exhausted. It was a talk with his father, on a public seat, that made him realise he needed help.

The simple statement "You are not in a good place. You must get support. In what way can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and find a way back.

His experience is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now better used to discussing the strain on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties dads face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are part of a wider failure to communicate between men, who continue to absorb damaging ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the harbour wall that just gets hit and remains standing with each wave."

"It is not a sign of failure to ask for help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, says men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental well-being is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a break - spending a short trip abroad, outside of the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He came to see he had to make a change to focus on his and his partner's feelings as well as the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and listening to her.

Self-parenting

That insight has reshaped how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now penning Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will assist his son better understand the expression of emotional life and understand his decisions as a father.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen lacked reliable male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences meant his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their relationship.

Stephen says repressing emotions caused him to make "terrible choices" when in his youth to modify how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as an escape from the anguish.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he explains. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling swamped, confide in a family member, your other half or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the activities that allowed you to feel like yourself before becoming a parent. It could be exercising, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical health - a good diet, staying active and if you can, resting, all play a role in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - sharing their stories, the challenges, along with the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help is not failure - taking care of yourself is the best way you can look after your family.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead provide the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the frustrations safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they acknowledged their pain, transformed how they talk, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… processing things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I said, sometimes I feel like my job is to guide and direct you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding just as much as you are through this experience."